Walk Away
by Rabbit-impudent guttersnipe
Summary: Summary: Spike finds out about Riley’s “fangjobs” and things turn out a little differently than they did on the show. Warning:Character death.


Spoilers: BTVS season 5 (Into the Woods)   
Rating: R   
Summary: Spike finds out about Riley's "fangjobs" and things turn out a   
little differently than they did on the show. Warning! Character death.   
But who bites it? (That's like a pun. Get it? Oh, never mind.)   
Disclaimer: These characters and universe belong to Joss Whedon, Fox   
Television, Kuzui Enterprises, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Television etc. I   
just watch the show and my brain says-what if?   
  
  
  
Someone told me once   
that there's a right and wrong,   
punishment was sure for those   
who dare to cross the line.   
  
  
--Tool 'Jerk Off'   
  
  
  
  
===============================================================   
Walk Away By Rabbit   
===============================================================   
  
  
  
  
  
The lighting was bad. Actually it was nonexistent. Spike had to rely on   
illumination from the streetlight outside to make its way into the   
building, and he wasn't sure if it was worth it anyway. This was the most   
disgusting sort of flop- house he'd ever seen, worse even than the squats   
he used to frequent in New York in the seventies-and those had been bad.   
'Public service announcement,' he thought to himself, shuddering at the   
memory, 'heroin is bad'.   
  
  
He wouldn't even have bothered, except he could've sworn that he saw Iowa   
skulking in under cover of night without benefit of armed forces or a   
five foot Slayer to cover his ass, and that little possibility just   
reeked of suspicion …blackmail…money…beer and cigarettes (listed in order   
of chronological significance and not necessarily by importance or   
priority). If the lad was taking on slayer duty by himself, it was sure   
to cause friction between he and Buffy…and in that case, she might need a   
sympathetic *ear*. (And lately the vampire was all about that:   
Summers…her ear…and various other parts.)   
  
  
Considering the lack of dust piles or concern that the slayer's shag   
stick had breached their inner sanctum, he either hadn't learned much   
from Buffy or his visit was for a different purpose. Half dozen vampires   
and nearly as many humans lounged in various poses, doing things that   
caused Spike's fangs to itch. Which begged the question: what the fuck?   
Why on earth would white bread be here? Demon outreach program? Yeah,   
right. Something just *smelled* suspicious. This was too good to be   
true-rather like manna from heaven falling right into his lap.   
  
  
Upstairs, he poked his head into several empty rooms and three was his   
lucky number. In the third room there was a filthy, bare mattress in the   
corner of the room floating on a sea of garbage that covered the floor.   
The sickly glow from outside didn't improve the ambience. It took a   
moment for Spike's eyes to focus on the couple in the room and when they   
did, he wasn't sure that he believed them because the image defied all   
acceptance.   
  
  
Riley lie naked from the waist up, those sculpted pecs occasionally   
twitching as he repositioned himself. The lower half of his body was   
covered by the junkie vamp who draped herself over him and was sucking on   
his arm. Her scrawny little stick figure totally clashed with the   
vibrant, healthy form of the commando who probably could've crushed her,   
but for some reason was letting her feed from him.   
  
  
"Harder," army boy commanded, and she responded by sliding across him,   
gripping his elbow tighter and increasing the pressure of her suckling.   
She rose up a little higher on her knees and her head began to bob faster   
as she coaxed more and more of the blood from his veins. The boy's eyes   
closed and his jaw stiffened with the heightened sensation. He lowered   
his chin to his chest and bit his lip as the sounds the vamp made   
intensified, interspersed now with little groans that even made Spike   
start to get hard.   
  
  
Oh the Slayer's gonna go mental.   
  
  
"Don't stop," Peaches commanded as the vamp broke contact and looked over   
her shoulder at the blonde in the doorway. The human didn't even open his   
eyes, so she shrugged and went back to her meal. If he didn't care,   
neither did she. It wasn't the first time she'd had an audience. She   
became more vocal, moaning and slurping dramatically while she writhed a   
little and rubbed against Riley. She would have to get paid more for two,   
but she didn't mind really and both were good looking.   
  
  
She wouldn't be making extra tonight. Spike watched the pair for another   
minute, and then went back downstairs. He was waiting on the front porch,   
smoking a cigarette when Riley Finn came out the front door.   
  
  
"Working on your social worker merit badge…or just selling some cookies?"   
Spike flicked the butt of his smoke away; it arced with a stream of   
sparks, then landed in a puddle and sizzled out.   
  
  
Half a breath's hesitation and the sideways darting of his eyes as if   
testing possible escape routes preceded the boy's answer. "I don't know   
what you're talking about."   
  
  
The vampire tilted his head and raised an eyebrow questioningly. "You   
don't know? Well, let me give you a hint: A flophouse, a junkie vamp, a   
suck job and the Slayer's boyfriend. One of these things doesn't belong   
here. Can you guess which one?"   
  
  
The complete draining of color from Riley's face, coupled with the   
nervous twitching of his hand were enough to confirm his guilt. "What do   
you want-money? I don't have anymore on me, it's all at home," the   
soldier spat out in disgust.   
  
  
"Maybe you'd better invite me home, we can talk there," Spike suggested,   
enjoying seeing him squirm.   
  
  
"The hell I will."   
  
  
(They're always so fearless when they try to resist.) "Hmmnn, I haven't   
talked to the Buffster for a few days. I wonder how she's doing?" Spike   
mused aloud innocently. "You know this is a difficult time for her, with   
her mum being sickly and all. She doesn't really need any more upset."   
  
  
"If you tell her, I'll kill you," Finn threatened.   
  
  
Spike reasoned, "But she'll still know about your sordid new hobby, so   
what's that gonna get ya, huh? Be smart and listen to what I have to   
say."   
  
  
"I could kill you now."   
  
  
The vampire hadn't thought of that. Damn, details *are* important. "Do   
you think I'm stupid? I told Harmony to get to the crypt. She'll tell   
Buffy everything if anything…untimely should happen to me," he bluffed.   
  
  
"You're lying."   
  
  
"Am I? You were up there a long time. Harm's probably already in hiding."   
He could see the doubt lingering on the boy's face. "Are you a gambling   
man?"   
  
  
Spike knew enough about him, had seen him fight against some incredible   
odds and guessed that Riley usually was, but not when it came to Buffy.   
There was no reason Finn would let her be dragged down into this, not   
now. The soldier didn't know how to explain his recent behavior to her;   
he probably didn't know what it meant himself. The blood letting was   
something that had gripped him, something strong that he hadn't known   
existed within him…something that wouldn't be letting go soon. But Spike   
could tell that it was pissing him off to have to cave in to blackmail   
from a vampire, so he offered the one thing that was still true in the   
commando's life.   
  
  
"You don't want to hurt her Finn. She doesn't have to know about this."   
  
  
Riley looked utterly defeated. He sighed. "Okay."   
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
  
  
The blonde vampire stood three feet from him, having been invited in the   
apartment. "I've got fifty bucks," Riley offered tossing the folded bill   
at the vampire. "Now get out."   
  
  
"Spike smirked as he caught it against his chest, then shoved it in his   
pocket. "It's not that easy…it's never that easy."   
  
  
"Does it involve you hanging around all the time, because I don't think I   
can take that for long."   
  
  
Spike ignored the comment and wandered around looking at the interior of   
Finn's home as he wondered out loud, "What I can't figure out is why a   
bloke who's fucking Summers would throw that all away?" He picked up a   
baseball lying on the mantle, threw it in the air and caught it. " There   
are a lot of guys who'd love to get their hands on her…including some in   
her inner circle," he added cryptically.   
  
  
"Well, *they're* not going to." Riley reached over and snatched the ball   
back, replacing it to its position on the mantle.   
  
  
"Because her brave, knight in shining armor is going to protect her from   
all the bad things that sleaze around in the night? Too bad he's   
actually part of that population now isn't it?"   
  
  
Riley glared at the vampire. "Maybe you'd just better get to your point,   
if you have one.   
  
  
Spike grabbed the human's elbow and straightened it, popping two rosettes   
of pink scar tissue above the surface of the tender skin of the   
antecubital space. "My point is this…do you think that this makes you   
dark enough for her, does this wipe out 20 odd years of sunshine and   
Norman Rockwell? You can wear the black hat, but you still can't tie   
anyone to the railroad tracks. Don't you know that this isn't something   
you control? This is something that eats you alive and destroys everyone   
around you."   
  
  
"And you're so worried because..."   
  
  
Why exactly? If Buffy found out, she'd go ballistic. She'd toss Finn out   
on his ass. She'd be sad and looking for comfort…really, there was no bad   
here. "Right, carry on then."   
  
  
Riley narrowed his eyes accusingly. "She'll never go out with you."   
  
  
"I've seen her track record, so I beg to differ with you. And if you   
didn't think so yourself, then why were you trying to find out what makes   
the competition tick? The Slayer/Vamp dance is one that never ends, it   
consumes both of us until one of us is dead. That kind of passion   
transfers into other aspects of life…isn't she horny after patrolling?"   
  
  
The truth was hard to disguise in those hazel eyes.   
  
  
"There's nothing better than fighting the Slayer…you can feel the blood   
pounding through your veins, you can hear her heart thumping as she   
pummels you and you know that one misstep… and she's driven that stake   
through your heart…you're a goner. Do you ever look down at her, at those   
lashes brushing her cheek and wonder who she's thinking about? Does the   
fighting and the fucking get all mixed together in her brain? When she   
cries out…whose face lingers?"   
  
"Not yours," Riley hissed.   
  
  
Spike shrugged nonchalantly. "Maybe not….yet, but she'll need someone to   
comfort her after you've betrayed her and I don't think Xander's leash is   
long enough these days. That leaves Giles…but that's just gross. So,   
yeah, I'm thinking my chances are pretty fair. As long as she doesn't   
completely lose it and go all bunny boiler on us."   
  
  
"She won't believe you."   
  
  
"But she *will* believe her own eyes."   
  
  
The denial was sweet. "I'll stop going."   
  
  
"Just like that, will ya?" Spike leaned forward and thumped Riley's   
chest. "It's already there, you can't put it back on the shelf, it won't   
be ignored. You can hear that darkness lapping down below you, but you   
haven't quite sunk far enough yet to reach it and you're too far-gone to   
swim back up."   
  
  
Riley looked paralyzed, his craving bound by the morality he couldn't   
shake.   
  
  
Spike shook his head. " I guess you don't understand that yet. You don't   
walk away from it. The spiral never ends because the spiral is the end.   
You can protest all you want, but it's pointless… you may as well try to   
quit breathing."   
  
  
It was beginning to sink in. Finn lowered his head and the words were   
ripped from him, "What am I going to do?"   
  
  
"Congratulate me on my engagement to the Slayer?" Spike chuckled as he   
headed for the door.   
  
  
Riley grabbed his arm in desperation. "You've got to help me."   
  
  
"Um…well, see…you're going on the assumption that I *would* help you."   
  
  
"You could…it's been awhile since you've bitten anyone. You must miss   
that." The soldier leaned in…passionate about the scheme that was   
formulating. His expression was very reminiscent of that scary, earnest   
look that Dru used to get, a look that promised war and armies and the   
destruction of civilization-a look that had gotten Spike nearly killed   
more than once. Army boy had almost perfected it.   
  
  
(Just walk away)   
  
  
"Feed off of me. If I want you to, the chip will let you," he promised.   
  
  
Oh no, absolutely not. There's no quicker road to a stake through the   
chest than to get caught sampling the Slayer's boyfriend. Spike shrugged   
off the restraining hand. "You're crazy. Not a chance in* hell*."   
  
  
Finn stepped in front of the vampire, blocking the path to the door. He   
scratched at a dried bit of congealed blood on his inner elbow, opening   
the wound until a drop welled to the surface. Fat and bloated with   
promise, it hung there in perfect symmetry for what seemed an eternity,   
until Riley shoved his arm forward and the blood slid down his skin in a   
crooked line. "You're right, I can't give it up. You're going to feed   
right now and you're *not* going to tell Buffy," he demanded with sudden   
confidence as the thick cord of blue tinged vein bled his life and his   
obsession out over the floor of his safe world.   
The soldier's bicep quivered almost imperceptibly from strain…byproduct   
of gravity…residual fear…self loathing?   
  
  
This must be a line Finn never thought he'd cross. It was probably so   
easy in the beginning to think that he could keep the two worlds   
separate, that one could exist without blurring into the other. He was   
fooling himself if he thought he could punch a time clock and shed the   
uniform that divided "All American Hero" from "Thrill Seeking Danger   
Boy."   
  
  
No one had ever had to beg him to bite them before, but he kept seeing   
the image of the Slayer glistening in the surface of Finn's blood; a   
million tiny little replicas of her face oozing from the holes in the   
boy's arm, taunting him. //What did you do to him? What kind of vampire   
hypno trick did you do?/ / That coupled with a punch to the face of some   
other abuse to his person, possibly for the last time.   
  
  
He didn't know why he even bothered. She hated him anyway. No matter   
what declarations he made to himself: that the Slayer wouldn't like it…if   
she finds out she'll stake you herself—his hand reached out slowly. Their   
world was about to come apart, should they stop and count the cracks?   
  
  
"You're not walking out of here…I will stake you if you don't do it."   
  
  
(Well that's something; maybe I'll finally be put out of my misery)   
Spike's hand supported Finn's elbow, his thumb coming around to   
manipulate the cord of the vessel lying just beneath the skin, coaxing   
the blood to flow faster. It began to drip faster, making a few circles   
of red on Riley's floor (Glistening drops of my good intentions raining   
down on his carpet). That's the kind of mess that never comes clean.   
  
  
Spike erased Finn's invitation with one moist stroke of his tongue,   
circled its origin at the raised scar tissue with his tongue. He looked   
up to see Riley's eyes were closed, and envied the soldier's ability to   
ignore reality-a luxury common to the addict.   
  
  
The first taste brought it all back to him: who he was, what his purpose   
on this planet was, what had been stolen from him. Drinking from a   
living person creates a bond that doesn't happen with a plastic bag. The   
heart warms the fluid better than a machine can. Warm skin wraps the gift   
better than a slick bag that reeks of formaldehyde. This was a perfect   
moment of happiness recaptured, marred only slightly by the Slayer   
warning buried in the back of his brain, right next to the chip.   
  
  
  
  
  
It was to late now. Spike gave a halfhearted shove against Riley's chest   
and pushed him in the direction of the couch. The boy eased his frame   
down, but he kept a grip on the vampire's shirt, pulling him down after.   
  
  
Spike knew better than to be flattered. "Don't worry mate, I'm not going   
anywhere." Raising one knee, he placed it on the couch next to Finn's   
hip and soon straddled him. With his index finger to the human's   
forehead, he pushed until the boy relaxed his neck against the back of   
the couch and exposed that beefy neck of his. He placed his lips against   
that corded column, right at the jugular and counted the thready pulse   
until it became a familiar rhythm before he bit down.   
  
  
Finn jumped slightly at the initial bite, his chest straining in a   
natural flight response that he obviously hadn't gotten over yet. Spike   
froze, one protest and the chip was sure to start frying his brain.   
(Easy, *you* wanted this-not me) but Riley didn't move after that, just   
sat in stoic silence. Well, not complete silence. When the vampire   
shifted slightly for better traction, the accidental grinding of their   
pelvises produced a sudden quick intake of breath from Riley. Another   
deliberate thrust brought a low groan from the lad, but Spike wasn't   
about to give up a 'gift neck' even though it would be fun to see the boy   
beg.   
  
  
He was nearing that point and the chip started sending out little pulses   
of warning just before Riley pushed him away. He sat back a little,   
watching the commando's face as he licked the blood from his lips. Those   
hazel eyes opened in dazed wonder. "Come over tomorrow at eight."   
  
  
  
  
  
  
Spike didn't even bother to knock. He turned the doorknob and let the   
door fly back until it hit the wall. "Lucy, I'm home." There was no   
answering sound, so he stepped across the threshold. Well his invite was   
still good. Finn hadn't barred his entry yet.   
  
  
He walked into the middle of the living room just as the commando came   
from the bedroom. The boy's hair was rumpled and his eyelids still   
droopy. He looked like he'd either just woken up, or was suffering from   
the worst hangover ever.   
  
  
"You look like shit," Spike observed. "Just crawling out of the coffin?"   
  
  
"I'm so happy you made it safely," Riley said sarcastically as he reached   
a hand up to scratch his bare chest. His nails were just long enough to   
leave angry red lines along his skin. He yawned as he dropped his hand to   
his side and walked into the kitchen.   
  
  
Spike heard the refrigerator door open and the clinking of bottles before   
his host reappeared with an opened beer tipped to his lips. "Nice   
manners. It's customary to offer your guests refreshment. Didn't they   
teach you anything in that army finishing school? " Riley frowned and   
tossed the bottle to him without a word. The vampire caught it amidst   
minimal splashing and guzzled the contents.   
  
  
Riley walked over to the couch and sat down. "Maybe you want to get   
started?" The soldier leaned back, rested one arm along the headrest and   
crossed his legs.   
  
  
"Don't have any big plans with your Slayer tonight? I thought you two   
would be off having a bit of 'how's your father?' Anyway, I don't fancy   
having her walk in and stake first, ask questions later." This whole   
business was making him as jumpy as a cat. He half expected Buffy to leap   
out from behind the furniture or come strolling in from the other room.   
It made it very hard to relax. Was the promise of blood from a live   
person really worth all of this unease? Yeah it was, even if it was   
Finn's blood.   
  
  
"She's staying home tonight with her mom. I've been given the night off."   
  
  
And Riley accepted that? There wasn't anything that would keep Spike from   
the Slayer. Not if it meant entertaining Dawn the brat to keep her from   
underfoot, not if it meant holding Joyce's head while she puked, not even   
if he had to kill a bloody bird to make the chicken soup by hand. Where   
the Slayer went…so went William the Bloody. Captain Cardboard didn't   
have the stamina or determination needed to keep up with Summers; he   
caved at the first word and toddled along like a misbehaving puppy.   
  
  
But at least Riley got a pat on the head for his trouble (actually a hell   
of a lot more than just that) while Spike never got more than a look of   
disgust and barely concealed annoyance. The most frequent acknowledgement   
he received was a squinting of Buffy's eyebrows, accompanied by a   
confused shake of her head.   
  
  
"We won't be disturbed," Riley promised reading the hesitation on the   
vampire's face accurately. The commando reached up absently and fingered   
the wound from their last meeting. "It feels a little sore," he admitted,   
referring to the bite mark. "If I twist my head at just the right angle   
during the day, I can feel it."   
  
  
Spike joined Riley on the couch. "So what's it to be today? Neck, arm?"   
His eyes traveled down to the boys lap. "Something entirely new?"   
  
  
"Neck," Riley decided. He winced slightly as his own fingers pushed a   
little too hard on the scar tissue.   
  
  
"Ah ha. A sadist huh? Feel the burn and all that." Spike shrugged and   
took off his coat, tossing it to an armchair near the front door. He   
pushed against the human's shoulder. "You're too bloody tall. You're   
going to make me get a crick in my neck. Lay back or something."   
  
  
Riley looked annoyed at being ordered around, but settled down against   
the arm of the couch. He turned his head slightly to give better access,   
but still kept a wary eye on Spike. "I'll tell you when to stop."   
  
  
"This fucking chip will tell me when to stop, but suit yourself… say   
when." Ridges popped out all over his face and he ran his tongue along   
the sharp edge of his fangs. Finn's chest was smooth, too smooth. Spike   
wondered momentarily if Riley shaved it as the vampire slid up along the   
boy's torso and buried his face in the crook of that warm neck. Did Buffy   
like hairy or non-hairy chests? She seemed to like Finn all right and   
Spike himself had a hair free chest…so maybe?   
  
  
His mind kept wandering. Did Buffy ever nuzzle the boy right here? Did   
she ever give a playful little nip that sent gooseflesh racing across   
Finn's skin? Did she ever run her hand over these washboard abs and all   
the way down to his cock? Spike couldn't shake the picture of her tiny   
hand wrapped around Riley's swollen dick as she milked his cum from him.   
The image made his testicles tighten uncomfortably and he bit harder into   
the human's flesh. This prick Finn didn't know what he had or he wouldn't   
even be doing this. Maybe the lad was just a momentary pit stop, but why   
jeopardize even 5 minutes more time with her?   
  
  
It was for a chance to upgrade to permanent "love of her life" status.   
  
  
And Spike knew a little something about that.   
  
  
He tried to find some pity for Riley. Some knowledge of the tragedy of   
knowing your girl was pining for another. Hell, what was he talking   
about? He knew exactly what it was like. Exhibit A: Angelus the Asshole.   
Exhibit B: Drusilla. Exhibit C: The pathetic shell of a former poet and   
recently neutered creature of the night. But at least he'd made some   
effort to hold onto the girl. Went against their Sire. Made a deal with   
his greatest enemy. Ended back here at the beginning, rejected and   
looking in on the relationship that he wanted. Ended up here knowing he   
could never have the girl fully. Goddam, he was Riley. How pathetic was   
that?   
  
  
More than that, they were connected now in a way that could never be   
changed. Part of the boy would be inside of him forever. He was taking in   
Finn's very life essence, making it a part of him. He and Buffy would   
share Riley's fluids. Suddenly, he felt very close to Summers (in a   
scary, obsessive way that proves you're a complete freak).   
  
  
"Stop," Riley insisted, pushing at him.   
  
  
Spike immediately backed away six inches. He wasn't in the mood for a   
cattle prod to the brain tonight, so he didn't push it. "What's the   
problem?"   
  
  
"I'm starting to feel a little dizzy," Riley confessed. "Give me a   
minute."   
  
  
"Oh by all means, take your time," Spike snarled in frustration. Just   
like he'd said. No stamina. He ran his tongue over his teeth to get all   
the blood out. At that moment, he noticed a thin trickle of blood running   
down Finn's neck. Reaching out with his index finger, he swiped at it and   
brought it towards his mouth.   
  
  
"What does it taste like?" Riley asked, stopping Spike's hand in mid air.   
  
  
"What?"   
  
  
"Blood," Riley clarified.   
  
  
"It tastes like…I don't know, like blood. Haven't you ever cut your   
finger and stuck it in your mouth?"   
  
  
"No," Riley admitted watching the red smudge on the vampire's finger. "I   
always carry a handkerchief."   
  
  
"It figures," Spike snorted. "Here." He pointed his finger in the   
soldier's face, near his mouth. "Have a taste."   
  
  
Tentatively, Riley flicked out his tongue and swiped at his blood. "It's   
not terrible. What does it taste like coming directly from someone's   
vein?"   
  
  
"Umm…like that, but a whole lot more."   
  
  
"Let me drink from you," Riley ordered enthusiastically, sitting up a   
little straighter.   
  
  
"Uh no, Sire issues over here. And my shrink's out of town…forever."   
  
  
"You haven't drunk enough from me. There is no danger of my turning. I   
know you've sired someone before, so you can't be grossed out by the   
thought. Just let me drink from you, or you may be watching the sunrise   
first hand tomorrow morning."   
  
  
Spike scowled. There wasn't a thing he could do to stop the lad beyond   
slapping ineffectually at him like a girl. "You sure are a bossy bitch.   
That Slayer's rubbing off on you, and I don't mean that in a good way."   
With his fingernail, he sliced a thin line down his wrist and offered it   
to Finn, who accepted after only a slight hesitation.   
  
  
He felt a reaction to soldier boy's sucking all the way down to his back   
wheels. He'd forgotten how erotic blood play was (for vampire's at least)   
and he wasn't sure this was the bonding experience he wanted. Maybe if he   
closed his eyes, he could think about something else?   
  
  
And then it was Buffy.   
  
  
Okay, that just made it worse. It was torture to imagine her mouth   
stretched in an "O" over his wound as her jaw muscles worked in tandem   
with her tongue to coax blood from him. "Aaghh." He snatched his wrist   
away. "That's it. Bar's closed."   
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
  
  
  
(I must be bloody crazy to have agreed to that)   
  
Spike ran from soldier boy's apartment in a panic and made his way   
through the cemetery. He wasn't heading towards any particular   
destination. He'd just wanted to run off some steam, but now he paused at   
one of the stone markers and kicked it. If he'd thought he wasn't tangled   
up enough in the slayer's life before, as of tonight, he was smack dab in   
the guts of it and there didn't appear to be any way to make a clean   
break. No way to end this new entanglement with Finn without risking the   
Slayer's notice and possible homicidal wrath.   
  
"Shit! I am the stupidest person that has ever lived."   
  
  
"Well, I agree with the first part of that statement," a familiar voice   
said from about ten feet to his left. "But I think you'd better rethink   
that last part."   
  
It was the Slayer, great (think you can try to hide the erection her   
boyfriend just gave you?)   
  
(Think you can hide the even bigger one that's swelling now that she's   
here?)   
  
"You're not going to hit me again are you?"   
  
  
"I didn't plan on it, but I can't guarantee anything."   
  
  
It suddenly struck him. His behavior towards the Slayer was strangely   
reminiscent of his relationship with Angelus. Back then, he'd followed   
his Sire everywhere, made sure they were together at every opportunity.   
Fantasized about him. But at least Angelus would throw him a bone every   
once in awhile by fucking him silly. What did he get from Buffy for his   
trouble? Nothing. Not even the passion of her hatred anymore.   
  
  
He never could win Angelus' approval. And somewhere down deep inside, he   
knew he'd never win the Slayer's either.   
  
  
//Why can't you push her away? Why can't you kill her?//   
  
  
He couldn't before. Maybe this chip was just an excuse. It wasn't what   
kept him from having her or destroying her. It was his own inherent   
weakness. He couldn't keep a lover around because he was just a   
convenient amusement, born to be a doormat to greatness.   
  
  
//You're all covered with her. I look at you and all I see is the   
Slayer.//   
  
  
"I'm looking for Riley. Don't let me keep you. Go ahead and skank around   
here …or whatever it is you do these days."   
  
  
What he did these days was kill himself slowly by thinking about Buffy   
with *him*. What he did was tear himself apart a piece at a time and she   
didn't even know or care. She could blithely stand there, unaware of the   
ache he nurtured, and blindly live in what she thought was her perfect   
little world. Her big bad was actually the one she invited into her bed,   
but all her scorn was reserved for the one who had reversed his entire   
existence to win her. He wished he could punch her right in that smug   
little face of hers. It wasn't the first time.   
  
  
//I can still see her floating all around you. Laughing.//   
  
  
Laughing. That's all she would ever do.   
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~   
  
  
[Slam]   
  
  
It was only a matter of time before Finn made it here. He had to give him   
credit though, Riley had lasted about two and a half hours longer than   
the vampire had thought he would. Spike would have even put a wager on   
that time line, but luckily his credit was rotten and no one would take   
an IOU (So at least when I die, my estate won't be overtaxed by demands   
from my bookie).   
  
  
Finn was quick for such a big guy. It was natural to expect him to be all   
stiff neck and no flexibility, but he was surprisingly nimble as he flew   
across the crypt. All puffing and fixated stare, he made Spike feel like   
he was about to be run over by a fucking bull. The vampire had time to   
turn nearly three quarters of the way towards the human before he was   
thrown back against the stonewall. His shoulders hit the surface and   
bounced once before Riley slammed him back into it.   
  
  
[Thump]   
  
  
"You told her."   
  
  
"I told her."   
  
  
//You're a shell of a loser. You're pathetic.//   
  
  
//Oh, this is going to hurt. It's going to hurt a lot.//   
  
  
//You're beneath me.//   
  
  
How does her precious super hero boyfriend measure up now? The sun   
doesn't quite shine out of his ass hole now does it? And the demon Buff   
has hated is trying to look out for her best interests…trying to protect   
her. The *vampire* who is a one-woman guy…(well, there was that time with   
Harmony after I found out I was in love with you, but I hate Harm, that   
stupid bint and would drop her in a minute if you gave the word.) should   
be the hero here. No suck vamps for Spike. Slayer's your girl? Wouldn't   
even look at another.   
  
  
But who gets to ride in wearing the white hat and kill the villain?   
Captain 'I can't keep it in my pants' that's who. William the Bloody   
cannot win here. A searing blast of hell through his right shoulder   
stopped his train of thought as a sharpened piece of metal fencing   
entered his flesh and lodged in the mortar of the bricks behind him.   
  
  
Ohyoufuckingbastard.thathurtslikeamotherfucker.   
  
  
The ex-soldier started choking him.   
  
  
(Angelus flashback much?)   
  
"You told her," Finn repeated, loosening his grip slightly.   
  
  
(Yeah I did) "Dignity and integrity issues, but you wouldn't be   
valedictorian on that list anymore would you? No, I was out betraying   
Buffy with any two bit troll that wagged her…fang…oh, that was you again   
wasn't it?"   
  
  
"You've got the hots for her," Riley accused.   
  
"Maybe I was trying to curry favor with her, or maybe I thought she   
should have the opportunity to *not*play village idiot?"   
  
  
"You'll never get her." He twanged the metal rod sticking through the   
vampire and it vibrated all the way from its tip to where it lie embedded   
in the wall, vibrating through the muscle and bone it impaled.   
  
(Oh, may your bollucks rot off. You ass hole.)   
  
"I should have followed by first instinct at the sight of you and staked   
you. I wouldn't be dealing with any of this shit if I had. But be assured   
that I'll remedy that mistake in the next few minutes."   
  
Spike finally noticed the sawed off broom handle in the soldier's hand as   
it connected with the rod sticking out of his chest and set if off   
humming again. The metal was ripping a wider hole in his shoulder as it   
quivered under the force.   
  
  
"Plotted against her…" [Blow to the chest.]   
  
  
"…tried to kill her…"[ A thump at he base of his neck.]   
  
  
"…*ENGAGED* to her…" [A snap as a rib on his left side cracked under a   
blow.]   
  
  
  
Vampires are scared of crosses? Right now Spike was pretty fucking   
terrified of an altar boy with a stick who was beating the crap out of   
him. "She wasn't as understanding as you thought?" There was a crunch as   
another rib broke.   
  
  
//She likes the demon in her man, she likes 'em dark.//   
  
Was this dark enough? Spike could feel a bruised lung already filling   
with blood.   
  
  
//I cried so much I though I would never stop. (Oh?)//   
  
  
//Her mum is sickly, didn't she tell you? Haven't you ever wondered why   
she didn't take my name off the invite list? //   
  
  
After a sharp blow to the head, the blood started to run into his eyes.   
"She's thinking, 'so what, Angel lost his soul? At least he never cheated   
on me' You were transition guy Finn. You're just a roadblock. You've got   
about as much shelf life as a pile of shit on a summer day."   
  
"You'll never have her, because you'll never walk out of here. Is this   
the kind of darkness you were talking about? If I dust you will that make   
her love me?" Riley asked as he raised the stake over his head.   
  
  
"Do it if it makes you feel like a man. But you were always just an   
accessory for Slayer Barbie. You were an inch long plastic stiletto that   
falls under the couch or gets eaten by a little brother. Expendable.   
Disposable. That's why the little plastic feet are so perfect. They don't   
need the shoe. She doesn't need you, she never did."   
  
  
"Shut the fuck up!"   
  
  
"How does it feel to be holding her and not have her, trying not to   
listen to closely to what she's screaming? ** 'Did that sound like she   
said Aie..hnge…illl? Did she and Angel ever do it in this bed?'** That   
must eat you up Finn."   
  
"Shut your fucking mouth!"   
  
  
"Her mother invited me into her kitchen, gave me hot chocolate…with those   
little marshmallows. She'll invite me over again. We'll sit at the dining   
room table. I've been practicing my 'yeah, I heard/that *bastard*'   
speech."   
  
"Buffy's noticed you following her around and she knows what a pathetic   
little stalker nobody you are."   
  
  
Spike didn't care anymore. He wasn't leaving here. He could see it in the   
boy's eyes. Hell, if their roles were reversed, Finn would already be a   
distant memory. The vampire couldn't even fight for her. He was reduced   
to being pinned to a wall like a bug. There was only one way he could   
hurt army boy. " She cried you know. Said she didn't know what she was   
going to do if her mum died. She has the most beautiful eyes when she   
cries. I just held her. She put her head on my shoulder and just sobbed,   
I didn't think she was ever going to stop."   
  
  
With a bellow of rage, Riley buried the stake in the vampire's heart and   
his dust shot up into the air, coating everything with a fine layer of   
ash.   
  
  
~`~`~`~   
  
  
I tried to mold myself into what the Slayer wanted, what she needed. I   
reversed every natural vampire law to try and win her and ended up   
ignored. Not even loathed…more like mild annoyance and reluctant   
tolerance. I never should have come back to Sunnyhell. I should have just   
walked away.   
  
  
[END]   
  
  
  
_ 

< p> 

  
  
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